Before I begin, let me just say that I love Britney. I unashamedly admit that I have several Britney albums loaded to my iPod, and that a good friend and I forced her husband to take us to see Britney a couple of years ago. With that said, I cannot pass up an opportunity to mock something like this if given the chance. And since I don't know anyone else who was going to watch this that I could then discuss with at a later date, I'm going to subject you poor readers to my thoughts. I strongly suggest you stop reading now. This could get ugly.

Credits. They're chaotic! Wow. Is it a good thing or a bad thing that I'm already scared by this twosome?

And the show kicks off with snippets of Mrs. Federline performing Toxic. Appropriate, right? Yeah, I thought so too. The concert footage is interspliced with weird low light shots of Britney making bizarre faces. A shout out to Paris Hilton? Maybe.

London, UK
Rain. Britney is fascinated by how her knees look like boobs. Seriously. Her words, not mine. Now she is giving us the tour of her super cool hotel room. She's got a little hand held camera, so it is Brit acting as camera girl, narrator, and director. Quentin Tarantino has nothing to worry about. Britney is now explaining in an interview that she was on tour, missing her family, and feeling a void so she did what any girl does when they are missing mom and dad. She busted out her camera. Okay Brit, I'm with you so far.

Now she's talking to her hair guy about marriage and commitment (as one does). Hair guy's into commitment, but not so much marriage. Unless it means free health care. I'm with you dude. Now Britney says that honestly, she doesn't believe in marriage either. She's done it once already you know. Brit also pop quizzes her friend/assistant Felicia about marriage, commitment, and the perfect guy.

Cut back to the interview: Britney says she doesn't know why she was talking about commitment and marriage, but she hypothesizes that maybe it was because she hadn't had that in so long. Wow. Insert your own joke in here. Britney thinks she was giving a shout out to the universe saying, "Come to me." And Kevin Federline is how the universe responds? Talk about a universe that is hating you.

Cut back to Britney talking about her ideal. On the wish list:
1) He's cool.
2) He isn't fazed by that much stuff.
3) He hasn't really seen the much, because she has and wants to see through him all over again.
4) He has to be sweet and nice and love her a lot.
5) She doesn't care what he looks like. Oh, wait. She does care a little bit what he looks like. No uglies please.

In case you're wondering, the hair guy is just looking for a rich guy. I hear you dude.

They are now heading to TRL, but they are in London. Color me confused. Now Britney is filming herself singing along to D12's My Band. Say it with me people: oh the pain. Stop it Brit, no one's amused. Hey they really are at TRL. TRL UK that is. And the British TRL audience looks much more reserved than the American audience. Figures. And she is debuting her Everytime video. And there is Stephen Dorff ignoring her in the video. Poor Britney. She really needs a nice boyfriend, not just that fake mean one the video director hooked her up with.